Monday, August 2, 2010

Eviction Notice

Dear Tenant (Nugget of Joy),
Please consider this an official eviction notice. Don't take it personally, you have been a lovely boarder here at Chez Momma, but it is time to start thinking about moving out. You have 28 days to move out, or we will have to resort to drastic measures. You are outgrowing your space here and will be much more comfortable in alternative surroundings. We have many other options available for you: co-sleeper, swing, bouncy seat, sling, Moby, etc. We also offer round the clock feedings of fresh, warm, sweet milk, and a big brother who is anxious to snuggle you on the couch, pat you gently for burping, and has even volunteered for diaper assistance (I don't believe him on the last one either).
I am not known for my patience. You brother was already home from the NICU at this point in gestation, not to start the sibling comparisons off negatively... You have been a much quieter fetus than your brother. He always kicked at the doppler, you tend to ignore it. You have also been kind to my ribs and lungs, even though your feet have been tucked against my right side for more than 3 weeks now. You are not so nice to my down lower parts, but I get it- you are running out of room. I am not a large person, so growing a baby isn't exactly my forte. I'll do much better when you come out, okay?
We are all excited to meet you- your brother thinks you will have blue eyes. For some reason, I think you will have dark curly hair. Daddy has predicted that you will be more docile than your brother. I hope you will sleep better than he does.
I look forward to helping you make the move into your new accommodations soon!
Love, Mommy (The Management)

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