Macy's Rant

Dear Macy's,
I am very disappointed in you. I'm not sure how to retaliate against a corporate giant such as yourself, so I will post a rant that all 5 of my readers will take to heart, and possibly boycott you for a day or two. Probably won't break your bank, but I'm pissed off --so there.
Here's the situation: Last week, I received an ad for your men's sale. I found The Perfect Blazer for my husband amongst its pages, but had to wait until today for the sale to begin. My whole day today revolved around getting to Macy's to buy The Perfect Blazer.
I know that my husband's small stature sometimes requires calling other stores, and extra looking to find the right size, but your employees are always more than happy to help me, especially when they learn that I have the "black card". (Higher in status than platnum, I didn't know you could top that!)
Anyway, I walked into my local large Macy's, with the boy happily in his stroller to find The Perfect Blazer. I had a nice young man help me trying to locate it in several stores. This kid called all the way to CALIFORNIA and never found a Macy's store that CARRIES THE EFFING BLAZER THAT IS SHOWN IN THE AD!!!!!! (Meantime, my son plops the stinkiest poop of his LIFE while I'm waiting at the counter. Nasty little baby!)
Why advertise something that you DON'T EVEN HAVE!! After coming home, I checked online at macys.com, and they don't even carry this brand. Somebody in marketing needs to lose their job over this!! I'm furious!
Even though I couldn't find The Perfect Blazer in the store, I looked around to see if I could find one that is similar. No such luck. So, I went to the ladies shoe department to lick my wounds. I'm in the market for some sexy black boots, my current pair are older than my entire relationship with my husband, and need to be replaced. I found The Perfect Boots quickly, and after deciding that with the sale, my coupon, and my credit card, they would be BARELY three digits in cost, I tried them on. The Perfect Boots also let me down, as they were scraping the bottoms of my knee caps with each step. I asked the sales girl if I had short lower legs, or is this how they were supposed to fit? She said they are very tall boots. Now I've never had a blister on my lower knee cap, but if I tried to wear these for more than a few minutes, that is where I would be. So I looked at all the other boots to find equal or similar perfection. The only pair that came close cost $548, and were not eligible for ANY discounts. Didn't even try those puppies on.
Now I'm home, didn't buy a darn thing at the big Macy's sale, and I want to beat them up.
The End.
To my readers: call your local Macy's for me and see if they carry Andrew Fezza sportcoats. Then call me if they do. I will give you a treat if we can find The Perfect Blazer.